One of the most difficult challenges in recovery is being around people who are still using drugs or alcohol. Sometimes, it’s unavoidable and maybe it’s a family member, roommate, co-worker, or long-time friend. In other cases, it’s a social situation you didn’t expect to be triggering.
No matter the circumstances, staying sober while others are using takes preparation, boundaries, and a strong connection to your recovery plan.
Why It’s So Challenging
- Triggers Are Closer – Seeing or smelling a substance can bring back powerful cravings.
- Old Patterns Can Resurface – The brain remembers what it used to do in those situations and may push you toward “just one.”
- Mixed Emotions – You may feel sadness, anger, resentment, or even envy toward those still using.
- Pressure to Join In – Sometimes direct (“come on, have one drink”) and sometimes subtle (feeling like you don’t fit in).
Practical Strategies for Protecting Your Recovery
- Ask Yourself: “Should I Even Be Here?”
Before going into any environment where there may be use, pause and consider: Will this support my recovery or put it at risk? If the honest answer is that it’s risky, it may be best to decline or leave. - Know Your Limits
Be honest with yourself about how much exposure you can handle without jeopardizing your sobriety. - Have an Exit Plan
If you do attend a gathering, arrange your own transportation and have a reason ready to leave if you feel uncomfortable. - Bring Recovery with You
Call your sponsor before and after, keep a recovery token in your pocket, or use a grounding technique if cravings hit. - Set Clear Boundaries
Let friends or family know what you’re comfortable with—and what you’re not. It’s okay to say, “I’m not hanging out if there’s going to be drug use.” - Stay Occupied
Keep your hands and mind busy. Eat, talk with someone supportive, play a game, or help with tasks. - Connect Afterward
Check in with your support system once you’re home to process how it went and reinforce your progress.
When It’s Family or Home Life
If you live with someone who is using, the challenge can be daily. In these cases, extra steps may be necessary:
- Keep your own space substance-free and calming.
- Limit direct exposure when substances are present.
- Consider temporary alternative housing during early recovery.
- Seek outside support like counseling, recovery housing, or peer groups for both emotional and practical help.
The Big Picture
Recovery is about more than just avoiding substances. It’s about building a life that supports your health and goals. Being around others who are using doesn’t mean you’re doomed to relapse, but it does mean you’ll need to be intentional and protective of your sobriety.
Remember: your recovery is yours. You don’t need permission to protect it, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for putting it first.